Punny (bad pun alert!) Munny

An English teacher asked her 8th grade class to write an essay on what they would do if they had a million dollars.
Larry handed in a blank sheet of paper.
"Larry!" yelled the teacher, "you've done absolutely nothing. Why?"

"Because if I had a million dollars, that's exactly what I would do!"

Thank you for the joke!

Punny (bad pun alert!) Munny

A restaurant boasted that there host was the strongest man around, and challenged anyone to a contest of strength.
The host would squeeze a lemon and if anyone else could squeeze another drop out of it, they won.
Contestant after contestant tried and lost until one day, a small scrawny man in a suit and glasses walked up and asked if he could try. He managed to squeeze out 6 more drops. The host was amazed. "How did you beat me!"

" I work for the IRS."

Punny (bad pun alert!) Munny

Every day after school, Jimmy would walk by his neighbour's house and the same group of teenagers would stop him and hold out a loonie and a toonie and let him pick between the two. Of course, Jimmy would always pick the loonie, the teenagers would laugh and then walk away.
The neighbour, who was always on his porch reading, couldn't help but notice this happen, and finally asked Jimmy why he always picked the loonie.
"Well, if I picked the toonie they would stop doing it, and I've saved up $50 so far!

Punny (bad pun alert!) Munny

A man walks into a bank and asks for a $5,000 loan. He says it's for a business trip he's going on for a week. Of course the bank asks for equity, so he gives them is $97,000 Mercedes. They park it in their garage. He gets the loan and leaves.
A week later he returns, pays off the loan plus the $15 interest that's accumulated, gets his car and is about to leave when the bank manager runs up to him and says that while he was gone he found out he was a rich millionaire and wants to know why he needed a loan.
He says, "If you can find a place where I can park my car for $15 a week without being stolen, I'd like to know."